I’m glad I preach
OK now for this week’s weird “Dale thoughts” (aren’t you glad they don’t come very often. Well, actually they do, I just don’t post them real often). When I was at GW about 4 or 5 times a year some student would call and want to interview me about ministry and I’d get all self-important. That’d last about, oh, .5 seconds, till they’d say something dumb like “we have this project in my ministry class and we have to interview a local preacher and (are you ready for it), I waited till the last minute and my preacher, Brother Famous, has a real job and I respect his time too much to bother him, so I figure you are right next door and probably not doing anything, so I’m asking you.” That’s not exactly how it’d go but that’s how I heard it anyway. But I digress, so I’d better get “gressing” again.
They’d have a battery of questions and I’d always learn something about myself. One of the things I learned was that being a preacher has made me a better person than if I was say a cobbler (I think I could be a cobbler - isn’t that a guy who eats cobblers all day long, I love Dinelli’s peach cobbler!). I’m sure that’s not true for everybody: some guys who preach become bitter, or lazy, or unaffected by the human predicament (I’m not sure what that last one means, I’ve just always wanted to use that phrase). And then some people seem naturally pious (man, cobbler and pie in the same post, I must be hungry) without thinking “people might be watching me (I mean, I know God is, all the time) so I’d better behave.” But for me I can only imagine what a mess my life might be without the challenges and expectations people have out of preachers’ lives.
I suppose you are wondering where this is going. I was in the Tampa airport the other day and there was this guy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen as ridiculous a get up as this in my life. He had on a nice shirt, and a dark suit coat, he was a tall fellow BUT he had on dress shorts, yes, shorts that went with his suit coat. I did a double take. I thought: “hmmm, wonder what his thoughts were when he got dressed this morning?” “Let’s see, shirt - check, suit coat - got it, dress shoes - wing tips, shorts - YES!” Or did he think - “I’ll be in the airport all day and won’t see anyone I know so let me see, how absurd can I look?” I don’t know, but I’m guessing the later. Well, I got to Nashville and was in the baggage claim area and turned around and here was that guy again (that’s when I snapped the picture but it doesn’t do it justice). I really wanted to say, “Excuse me sir, but do you know you look like the biggest idiot I’ve ever seen. Come with me and let me show you a mirror.” But then I remembered I had on a Spring Meadows logo-ed shirt and just looked away.
OK, so you are still wondering where I’m going with this, but stop badgering me, I’ll get there.
I started thinking about things I wish I could say. Some of these are not wise so I won’t but some of them I just wonder if they’d shake people into reality:
“Grow up!” The world doesn’t rotate around you, stop thinking that everything that is said or done is about you. That group that went to lunch didn’t maliciously exclude you, you weren’t around when they planned it. Grow up, take responsibility for your life, your actions, your kids, your marriage. Just grow up!
“Shut up!” Stop hurting people with stupid statements. You say cruel and mean things that make it look more like the devil lives in you than the Spirit of our God. Stop making excuses and just learn to put a zip on your lip, or better yet, invest in some duct tape.
“Stop being an idiot!” Your kids know you don’t love the Lord. They know you love sports, recreation, etc more than God. Stop using your kids as an excuse. Just admit you’d rather go to a baseball, football, soccer, basketball, dance recital, Kung Fu, naval gazing competition more than go to worship or learn more about the God of heaven.
“If you pick on the God’s church again I’ll body slam you.” Now, I’ve never body slammed anyone but wouldn’t that be an awesome ministry, “body slamming for Jesus”? This is my Family and the Lord shed His blood for it so stop talking bad about it. Stop belittling Her, expecting the worst out of Her, making fun of Her, and trying to make Her into your imagine. Don’t call me and talk down about the members or the elders or your preacher.
“It won’t work” - Just cause Joe Denomination down the road thinks it’s the latest craze doesn’t mean we have to do it. Why would we follow a flawed system or pattern?
“Why would you go to a church that did the last guy dirty from a church that did you dirty?” If they lied to, abuse, misled the fellow who was there before the will probably do the same to you. Why trade a known set of problems for an unknown.
“God loves you...what else could really matter…”
Man, I’m glad I preach cause I think saying this stuff could get me in all kinds of hot water. The worst thing is that some of the attitudes I’d like to “throw down on” in the list above I’m guilty of as well!