email etiquette. It’s about time.

I’ve been contemplating this post for about two years now. Somewhere there needs to be some simple rules for proper etiquette when it comes to emailing. At SM we shoot so many email between us and do so much mass emailing that some guidelines surely would be of some use.

Before I go there I want to commend all my fellow SM’ers. We have what we call our “members@” group. ANY MEMBER can send an email to the whole congregation. When we started I thought, “this is going to be trouble”. I envisioned all sorts of spamming, poor decisions of tact and other problems BUT in over 4 years with thousands of emails sent I think I could count on one hand the number of mishaps. I attribute it to the marvelous spirit and the love that exists among our folks and maybe a tinge of the trust we have that allows this to even exist.

email etiquette
Let’s start with some common mishaps:
* Hitting send to quickly. If you write an email with any sense of revenge, malice or harshness wait! Yes, wait. Give it 48 hours. Kathy at GW often kept me out of trouble by teaching me this. If it needs to be said it is rare that it can’t wait a few hours to give you some cooling down time, some time for clarity and then a “re-reading” to make sure that is what you want to say. Reread the email and consider the whole message from the recipient's perspective.
* Coming across “short”. Email virtually invites quick responses. That often leads to coming across in this correspondence a curt or insensitive. Don’t be lazy. Take the time to do it right.
* Remember that tone can’t really be “heard” in email. What you mean as humor or with a touch of irony may not be perceived as such and your reader may react strongly. The use of emoticons or descriptors like "LOL", etc. can help, but they don't always work.
* Check reply to all - make sure your default is not set to reply to all. This can either lead to you saying something to everyone that you only mean for one person OR to spamming unintentionally. It is OK to reply to all but be sure that is what you want to do. Check receiver list.
* Make sure you have said what you meant to say. Check to assure that the intended message is in it.

Now a few notes of forwarding:
* Most importantly limit forwards. Through the years I have had friends who abused forwards. One dear friend used to send about 10 a day! Ouch. If you forward something to me in a mass group, I’ll let you know now, it is VERY doubtful I’ll read it.
* If you forward something you think I need to read, let me know with a personal note, with my name in it why you are forwarding this to ME!
* Clean up forwards! Please do not send me a forward with a gazillion other emails before I get to the message or one that has ---- before each line I read. I just don’t want them.
* Check the claims on forwards via snoopes. It only takes a moment but at least once a month I get some email making some outrageous claim about some public figure or event that is simply not correct. That is followed by three or four mass “reply to all’s” correcting it and then a correction by the original sender. Go to snoopes and check it out.
* One more note on forwards: I don’t take action on emails that claim that “IF you love God you will forward this to ten people in ten minutes...”, or that promise wealth or health if forwarded or that say if I love a friend or my country I will pass this on. That simply isn’t true.

Now for some friendly advice:
* Let people know you got their stuff. I’m a big offender here. People send me a completed lesson or note and I don’t let them know it actually arrived and they have to wonder. Take a moment and say “thanks, I got the info you sent” if you asked for the info.
* DON’T WRITE IN ALL CAPS. I get an email about once a month or so from a good person, a really good friend, who has been hollering at me for years! You may not know this, but all caps in email means you are hollering. STOP IT - unless you mean it.
* Turn on spell check. Email and texting are making us a lazy lot. Take the time to show some class and that you care enough about what you are saying to at least try to spell correctly. I’m an awful speller but spell check sure makes it easier. Use the tools.
* Check name spelling - I am a huge culprit here - sorry Eric.
* Don't hesitate to say thank you, how are you, or appreciate your help! Politeness is never out of style.
* Use blind carbon copy (BCc) with lists. I have two or three friends whose “group mailings” I receive. Some of these are excellent but they have not yet found the BCc button so everything they send such I get all of their “subscribers” email addresses. Please don’t share others email addresses with large groups.
* A friends says: “One thing I always tell students.....an email should not be a total substitute for face to face interaction.  It should supplement face to face interactions and not serve as a replacement due to fear, etc.”
* Try to make emails brief (that should go for blog posts too :)). As we have moved to a more mobile computing environment, there's a good chance your email is being initially viewed on a handheld device. 

What a time we live in. We are blessed to be able to communicate faster with more and more widely than ever before. Let’s use this tool but beware of potential abuses.

So, what are your pet peeves in this area?

(ed note: Thanks to Paul, Phil and Tom for their input on this post.)