My Wish…

The last several days have been a blur to the point of going through functions without even really knowing what I’ve been doing. Anytime I have gotten still for more than five minutes I fall asleep. We’ve been through our deacon process - always a grueling - but important process. We’ve had a couple of other big days at Spring Meadows. And I’ve preached quite a few times - 19 times in the last 18 days. And in the middle of it has been one of the most earth rocking events of my life - my “constant”, my hero, my mentor, has been sick. To the point of death at times.

Now, I know that many of you have a great dad and for that I am thankful and don’t minimize their contributions, but this is my dad. This is the man who until I was nearly 30, while I knew he was human (and therefore intellectually knew better) I could not tell you of any sin he had ever committed. He was jogging at 5, to the hospitals by 6:30, in the office by 8, having a Bible study with someone who is not a Christian most every night. I could literally count the number of times I have seen him even the slightest angry on three fingers - they each made an impression on me. He is the kindest man I know. His faith is never wavering. His commitment to the Word of God impeccable. His study habits unmatched. He has lived by the rule he taught - DO RIGHT!

On top of that I’ve seen him sick NOW three times in my life. Once he had just come back from Belize and nearly fainted in the pulpit - that was in the mid 70’s. The second time was about 4 years ago. The office at Roebuck called and asked if I’d heard from him - seems he had missed two days of work and they didn’t know what was happening. I called and left a message, when he got back with me he sounded awful. So, he said he thought he’d gotten food poisoning. I asked what the doctor said and he said: “I don’t have a doctor.” He’d lived in Birmingham at that point for 40 years and was age 70 and he didn’t even have a doctor. In fact, THIS time is the first time in his life that he has been in the hospital...ever! So you can imagine my concern and inability to focus during this time. I guess you can tell, I love my dad.

Dad had a heart attack which brought on a stroke. He was doing pretty well in rehab when last Friday he had another stroke. This one much worse than the first. By the time I made it down Saturday he could not talk and could not focus his eyes. Eventually he went to sleep and for six days didn’t even open his eyes.

During this time we thought we might lose him - and of course we still might (and will someday we know). I went on and preached the meeting and have driven back and forth to Birmingham three times this week.

Side paragraph here: Someone might question my going ahead and preaching a meeting during this time. If they do they don’t know my dad! My greater fear is not what they or you might think but I kept thinking: “You know, if dad gets better and finds out I cancelled a Gospel Meeting just to sit by his bed - I’ll be in trouble. And if dad doesn’t get better and dies from this, when I get to heaven the first thing he would do is fuss at me for canceling a chance to preach the gospel while he was sick!” That should have brought you a little smile. The meeting with the sweet brethren at Summertown went well - there were two baptisms and one restoration.

During times like these you think as you drive or sit by and watch or really you think regardless of what you are doing. As I got ready to leave dad last Saturday to head back to preach the next morning I knew dad would want us to pray, so Jeff and Missie (Miss Mona who has stood by dad so faithfully had stepped out of the room for a few minutes) and I gathered around his bed and I prayed. I’d no sooner began than I wanted to stop and ask someone else to lead this prayer. I had already prayed quietly to myself and with Melanie but this was different somehow. What did I want? What do I want?

Obviously I’d want dad to recover 100%! But what if he doesn’t? My first thought was, I’d rather dad die than not be able to communicate, to preach, to minister, to do what he is the best in the world at. That in no way is meant to sound harsh but loving for he loves preaching and teaching and studying the Bible with others so much. His voice has been strong and one of profound influence - he has been E.F. Hutton - when he speaks, people listen. But then, what if his patience with illness, his faithfulness in the struggle was a greater example? What if couldn’t preach but he moved into a stage of his life where he encouraged his six grandchildren who are in ministry - was able to spend time with them in talks and to teach from his life experience and his knowledge? What if he wasn’t able to preach but he could still use his influence to encourage peace in congregations and eldership where there was conflict? What if God used this sickness to move him into a different sphere of influence?

So what do I want? What is my prayer?

My friend Janet introduced me to (actually I went kicking and screaming) the writings of Jan Karon years ago. “Her” Cynthia would talk about praying the prayer that never fails. And that is my hearts wish. The prayer that can’t be wrong and that when answered is always the best and the wisest and RIGHT. That prayer: “Your Will be done.” I want God’s Will for dad. Nothing more, nothing less. I, we all, trust Him. That wish honors both my father on earth but more significantly my Father in Heaven. I know He knows best - God, do what YOU believe is best with dad. I want him back but more than that I want Your Will!

As I post this I’m spending my first night at the hospital with dad alone. Jeff and Missie have both been here since last weekend, I’m so thankful for that. They and Miss Mona will get some rest tonight. It’s been a good day as dad has opened his eyes three or four times today.

Let me close with a quick note: How could we say “thank you” to such a Family like God’s? Each of us, Miss Mona, Jeff, Missie, Dan, the grandkids and the rest of our family - we’ve all been overwhelmed with the love that has been poured out. I am sure there are people more loved and blessed than dad, but I cannot imagine who or how. Our hearts are made stronger by your love and kindness. Thank you all, we love you.