There is no Ken and Barbie (or should that be “are”?)

I was on a panel last week with four other guys (I was the oldest - that seems to be happening more and more :() answering the questions of roughly 500 8th-12th grade boys.  It was raw and it was, hopefully helpful in a real and spiritual manner. One question was "What are the top 3 things you looked for in a wife?" Everyone had on the panel had "looks" as one of their three.  While that might surprise some consider that spiritual or not that is the first thing that attracts us and I’d venture to say that 99% of the married men you asked would include something about looks as the first thing that attracted them to their spouse. That’s not bad - I mean - consider the converse: I didn’t like how she looked so I married her.  And while our culture (and most every culture that has ever existed) has placed an over abundant emphasis on the external - marry someone who you like how they look - if you marry for life you’re going to have to look at them a long time!  

Now with that said let me toss an important truth your way: It won’t always be that way! One of you is going to get fat, or wrinkled, or gray, or have a stroke, or cancer, or an accident, or is going to do or say or become something not pretty.  One of you is not going to look that great in 20-30 years.  Ken and Barbie are plastic and even the ones of “them” made in 1962 are showing their age.  And further what is true of you or your mate is true of “your” church and of your relationships and of most everything about your life.  Can I say it plainly? Nothing about your life on this earth is going to be perfect. Stop quitting the important stuff when it isn’t perfect - marriage, friendships, church.  They require commitment because stuff gets old and gray and wrinkled.  And if “they don’t” it will be “you” who will.  Cars, clothes, jobs, and gadgets can most often be quit or replaced with no reflection on your character - but give up on those other things too quickly and it says something about your maturity.

Preacher friends, the honeymoon will end and it will be a job at times. There will be people who don't love you and who you find it hard to love. There will be decisions beyond your control that mess up your perfect little world. It's always going to be that way this side of heaven.  I wish we could live in Ken and Barbie land but we don't and the next place you move won't be either - unless your next move is to heaven and then it won't be either - it'll be better!