Who's Counting

The first wedding I ever officiated at was for Lisa and Eddie. I had been preaching for only a few months full-time and I hadn’t been married even two years yet. What did I know? Certainly not enough to do the one thing I confidentially told the couple that I “required” for anyone who asked me to perform their ceremony. “I require that anyone who I marry go through at least three hours of pre-marital counseling.” The problem was, I didn’t have three minutes of material, much less three HOURS. And, on top of that, I wasn’t fully sure I had a clue what I was talking about anyway. So, I did what I did in those days. I called dad, and my brother, and a couple of older preachers who I respected and who I thought, “had a clue.” Dad gave me his “5 C’s for a Successful Marriage” that I’ve used as an outline for all these years. I started a folder, it was a blue one, and on it I wrote in black sharpie, Marriage Counseling. Somewhere along the way I ran across this little jewel for the bride: “Write down every time he tells you he loves and if there is a reason, write it down too.”  

Today at an all-church lunch, over fried chicken and baked beans my friend Scott said: “Last night I told Diane that we are so thankful that you are our preacher.” He went on to share a nice story with me. But I thought then that my little wedding jewel would be great advice for any minister. There will be plenty of arrows to avoid, a ton of temptations to toss in the towel, more than enough critics to critique you and your ministry, days of discouragement to dodge. So, you need to remember the times when someone determines to follow Ephesians 5:29 and speak it into your heart, “ Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you” (GN). I do not know if the infamous “it takes 10 positive comments to counteract one negative one” is factual. But I know we don’t do what we do for praise of men, but those Barnabi are certainly important in our lives. So listen carefully and store those encouraging morsels in your heart, write them down, save them for a Monday