The Bird and the Mirror

The Bird and the Mirror

Have you ever felt a little lost in your ministry? Perhaps you’ve had a job change, a recent move, have recently welcomed children into your home, or even have found yourself with an empty nest, and now you’re not actually sure how to use the gifts God’s given you anymore as you look into a future that looks a little (or a lot) different than you planned. Or maybe a life of ministry work was never actually your plan at all, but once upon a time, you fell head over heels for a precious man who had a dream to dedicate his life to the Lord, so you took the leap of faith yourself--only to find that it can be pretty tough sometimes.

Regardless of the circumstances that led you to feeling a little sideways, the truth is, we all feel discouraged and maybe a little lost sometimes.

I’ve certainly been there myself. Years ago, I adored our family’s lifestyle in youth ministry that we enjoyed for over a decade, but when my husband later accepted a pulpit position at a new congregation, my new role as a preacher’s wife and mom to young kids left me feeling a little lost as to finding a meaningful way to serve. I felt like I was constantly struggling to live up to the expectations I perceived I needed to meet in my new role while caring for my little ones at home. In youth ministry, I felt like my husband and I worked as a team, but when his role shifted to the pulpit, I often felt like my new duty was to manage our kiddos solo at church as my husband was pulled in every direction with his ministry. I would repeat to myself over and over again that raising my young children to be disciples was my most important ministry in life, but truthfully, I missed the rewarding feeling of discipling teens in youth ministry. I wouldn’t have admitted it at the time, but I had piled up a great deal of my self-identity and self-worth in my role as a youth minister’s wife. I now found myself envious of friends who were more visibly able to glorify God with their gifts than I felt I could. And let’s be honest—ministering to tiny future disciples at home is a huge blessing, but it doesn’t always feel rewarding when one regularly finds herself up to her eyeballs in poopy diapers.

As I was contemplating my frustration, I happened to meet a little bird at my favorite local restaurant one Spring day. For a solid month, every time I would park my vehicle in the parking lot, within moments, this bird would fly up to one of my side-view mirrors and proceed to attack his reflection for several minutes until I finally decided I didn’t want any more scratches and bird poop on my mirror and drove away. As I wondered why this bird obsessed over his reflection, I of course, Googled “Why do birds attack car mirrors?” and learned that Spring is the time of year when most birds establish their territories, find a mate, lay eggs, and raise their young. So to ensure success, they will attack and try to drive away any bird they view as a possible threat. When they see their own reflection in your mirror, they assume they’re seeing a competitor and attack the image. What’s unfortunate is that the bird may exhaust or even hurt itself, and it distracts the bird from far more important activities like searching for a mate, protecting or providing for its young, or finding food and building shelter for itself. 

Oof – that last sentence cut me to the heart when I read it for the first time. I was just like that bird and I immediately knew it. 

The hard truth for me to swallow was this:

When I’m having trouble figuring out how to serve, chances are, I’m more likely fighting against my own self-image and insecurities than I am fighting my outward circumstances.

I had to remind myself that I can’t lose sight of who my ministry is actually about. It was never supposed to be about me and the rewarding feelings I wanted to experience. I can admit now that I’d lost my focus. I didn’t recognize that I was so busy fighting myself trying to protect a part of me I didn’t want to lose. I had been neglecting the real opportunities for ministry that were happening all around me, at home with my little ones and beyond.

If my focus in my ministry or evangelistic efforts ever becomes more about me than about Jesus, then there’s a problem. I had felt like I was no longer able to use the gifts God had given me, but I wasn’t giving the Lord enough credit to believe He was still working through the little moments when I was serving my children, my husband, and my church family in quiet ways. I had to accept that I couldn’t meet all the expectations that had been met by of some of the preacher’s wives who had gone on before me, but I learned that I could quietly serve my new church family through graphic design while my kiddos napped during the afternoon, and I learned that I could still build meaningful mentor relationships with our teen girls at church. I learned that God would be glorified often far more through my behind-the-scenes efforts than He would be when I myself received “atta Girl” pats on the back.

I don’t know your story, but I truly believe the Lord will open your eyes to the ministry opportunities around you when you ask him to give you eyes to see and ears to hear. And when you ask for wisdom, He is faithful to provide. Don’t waste time like me fighting against your own insecurities while neglecting the real world of ministry opportunities around you—take the blinders off and fly, Little Bird.

Melissa Flanagan | Huntsville, AL

lissaa144@gmail.com

And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.  –  Colossians 3:17